Grief and Sadness

Grief and Sadness

Processing Grief

The emotions of grief comes as our realizations grapple with loss. Emotionally we are not prepared, we don’t know how to process or adjust to the idea someone or something we’ve held importance to will no longer be accessible to us. The difference between what has happened and what we can accept creates an overwhelming void. Our interactions with the person have allowed them to become part of us and now we have to restructure our perceptions of the world.

We all have all learned our own way of building meaningful relationships and connections. But letting go, to deconstruct relationships is a whole different process. Life is fragile, relationships always end and they don’t follow any preset time frame. Even when prepared for loss, knowing how big a hole needs to be filled is not easy to predict

There’s not much comfort in recognizing loss as a transition. Life doesn’t check to see how important a relationship was to us or how attached we’ve become. During these transitions, it is not uncommon to feel unsettled, isolated, lost, confused or detached. During these changes, our neurology needs to make readjustment as we grapple with the realization we can no longer be how we were because neurologically we can no longer hold those we lost in the same way

grief sadness

Grief can also be felt when devastating world events unfold, when others are touched with overwhelming destruction or hardships. In these events we empathize and emotionally place ourselves side by side with strangers we don’t know, imagining and experiencing their pain, even though the loss is not ours.

Grief and sadness remind us the bonds we once held have changed, that a rebuilding process is needed, at healing transition must occur. The process of grief is the first step in letting go and coming to terms with our own place in the world as we rearrange to perceive life differently

If the Grieving Doesn’t Stop

It usually indicates some aspect of the persons mind, body or spiritual commitments have disconnected from a vital perspective needed to rebuild ones sense of self. Those unable to get through the process of grief may need additional assistance to respectfully release those who were important to them. While matters of the heart can be delicate, they can still be altered. At Designed Thinking we have assisted many of our client’s through the process of releasing attachment which need to be released. This can often be accomplished in a relatively short period of time. Call our toll free number 866-718-9995 to see how we can assist.



  1. What is an appropriate time for grieving?

    • There are studies suggesting a range from 6 to 18 months. But everyone is different. Assuming the loss is of a loved one, there some considerations to keep in mind.
      How quickly does the person let go of other types of discomforts (being treated unfairly, being made wrong, etc)? How attached do they get to beliefs and ideas?
      How sensitive is the person to stress? How much did the person depend (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually) on the other person?
      Also the process of grieving is subjective. How much pain is buried by denial or distractions? How deeply is the discomfort being felt? What really defines the end of grieving?
      Each person must answer these questions on their own accord. If one continues to feel stuck or there is a long decline in attitude or well being, It might be wise to see a professional.

  2. How do i grieve childhood traumas that I consciously suppressed? I know the emotions from my attempted suicide during my parents divorce are still in my body, causing me occasional, scary panic attacks, heart and spinal back pain, and chronic, medium-level depression and anxiety, and a long line of broken romantic relationships and other personal failures. I have very little joy in my life, and my basic mindset is of worry and “survival mode” or “hiding mode”. I believe none of this is necessary and that I must complete my healing to save my life and use it for good things. suggestions? thank you

    • Andrew
      Most suppressed trauma is done so unconsciously, meaning part of the process is hidden from our mental understanding. Grief and trauma are primarily emotionally based, since they have you feeling bad. Because of this, the easiest way to make a change in yourself is to find someone to work with who will help your emotions find pathways to release these old wounds.
      You don’t mention what you have tried so far in getting past these pains. Hypnotherapy, EFT, NLP and traditional therapy are all viable options. You can call us, we specialize in helping releasing emotional discomforts and have incorporated all of these methods and others.
      Not doing anything with not get you change, so find someone to work with. Also, while change can happen quickly for many people, the more complex, the more compounded the traumas have been and the more we have interpreted the discomforts, the greater the amount of time you should allow yourself
      Hope this helps

  3. Reerryarish

    Mental ailment is any bug or contingency that influences the approach a personally thinks, feels, behaves, and/or relates to others and to his or her surroundings.
    Disposition illness is any blight or environment that influences the way a person thinks, feels, behaves, and/or relates to others and to his or her surroundings.
    Mental ailment is any blight or contingency that influences the approach a yourselves thinks, feels, behaves, and/or relates to others and to his or her surroundings
    Deranged ailment is any disease or condition that influences the nature a in the flesh thinks, feels, behaves, and/or relates to others and to his or her surroundings.Mental illness is any virus or environment that influences the modus vivendi = ‘lifestyle’ a person thinks, feels, behaves, and/or relates to others and to his or her surroundings.

  4. Read your article about being emotionally abused. My brother has been abusing me and others for a long time. We are middle aged, my brother has deep anger and rage has in the past physically hurt me and even to the point that he has the potential if killing me. He has so much hatred and bitterness for me. I finally have decided to set boundaries and the first boundary that I have chosen us no more contact with him. I have blocked his calls. I have chosen to not speak to him any longer until he deals with his hatred and anger toward me.
    My question is: have I made the right decision? Also what’s hurtful if I choose not to be around him that means I will not be able to go to family gatherings, I have a big family and that will hurt. Seeking advice thank you

    • Mike
      We only have to courses of action in life for relationship issues, either change our perspective or take action. If your brother can’t find a way to relate to people in a manner that is socially acceptable, placing distance between the two of you is a viable option. His issues are his issues and if he keeps trying to blame you or put you in an emotionally compromising frame of mind, you have to let him have his own space.
      Of course this brings up the other side of the problem, which is he is still family and interacts with people you care for, so you can’t run. These types of problems usually have many dynamics and I don’t know what you have tried, or how you react when he is abusive. If he does this while when other family members are around and noone says or does anything, then you are getting abuse from everyone who lets it happen, because they are letting you be bullied. If the entire family is being bullied, why does anyone put up with him or invite him to family functions
      If he is just being an ass, you have to find a way to respond differently. I can’t really give suggestions here because I don’t fully understand the family dynamics. I don’t know if this is just your issue or one the entire family needs to address

    • Ivonne Martinez

      Have you asked him why he hates you? Have you told him you love him,or what is he so angry about and why he wants to hurt you .I had a brother who would beat the crap out of me but in my case I was adopted so he wasn’t my brother so I left like you are and stayed away so I have no family but your family is yours talk to your family ask what they suggest and let them know you love them and let them know that you need support and if you try this I could almost promise that you’ll find an answer ,so please just know it could be worse you could have no family and take it from me it truly sucks … I wish or hope I help God Bless you

  5. Well I’ve just got out of a relationship about 2 months ago. Ever since I’ve been hurt and telling myself I’m over him , but I think about him EVERYDAY. This may not really relate to this topic, but I’ve found some similarities in the article. But I wanna know some ways to help me. He’s in my classes and he’s always looking at me like 24/7. He claims us as “friends”, but the only time he tries talking to me, he is just starting mess with me.

    • Cassidy
      You have not decided yet to let him go. There will be no being friends with him right now. He still likes you but doesn’t want more, but you would still be OK with the two of you being a couple. Tell to stop messing with you, which is a cruel thing to do when someone is emotionally attached to someone else. It is hard being in classes together, since you are constantly being reminded he is there. Until you completely 100% decide he is not ever going to be the guy for you, you are keeping the emotional door open and that means any sign of interest will spark hope you will be with him again.

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