Misconceptions of Guilt and Shame
Guilt: A feeling created from having violated ones own standards. A conflict exists between the persons values, morals or actions
Habitual guilt and shame are ineffective methods for evaluating right and wrong
If one is to believe their emotions are sending useful information, then they must trust in themselves. It is hard to trust emotions which consistently signal ones ideas or actions as being wrong. There is nothing right about constantly feeling bad and there most certainly is nothing positive about negative signals that do not facilitate change. The persons relationship with their own values has become distorted.
Many mistakenly believe their morality will diminish unless they continue to feel bad. They’ve been taught to believe guilt and shame are needed requirements for those with high moral standards. Luckily plenty of people hold high ethical standards without the demeaning signals of guilt and shame. They live balanced and helpful lives, they give from the heart and don’t carry the weight of relentless worry.
While some are born with sensitive predispositions, no one is born burdened in guilt or shame. Fortunately, learned responses can be unlearned. The unworkable black and rules of how things have to be can give way to perspectives supporting honesty and freedom of choice.
Those remaining entrenched in the long term perpetuation of guilt or shame often have devastating consequences. They are hindered with low self esteem, often feeling victimized. They will be more likely to blame or complain and be judgmental of others. It’s not productive, nor does it help anyone to become a better person. Guilt and shame also big contributors supporting anxiety and OCD.
If you have had difficulty working through guilt or shame issues, it may be time to make changes which are more supportive to your overall well being. Instead of punishing yourself, make changes in how you view your relationship to the world.
For the past 12 years Designed Thinking has been assisting people to make these changes. No one has to be burdened with negative emotions; they are not mandatory part of life.
Work through your discomfort in the comfort of your own home. If you are ready to begin making changes and improve your life, call our toll free number 866-718-9995